


Only Today

by Lulabellaxx



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternative MC, Angst, Depression, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Humor, Implied/Referenced Suicide, MC has a backstory, MC is trying, Mental Health Issues, Named Main Character (Mystic Messenger), Original MC, Past Relationship(s), Punk MC, Reset Theory (Mystic Messenger), Substance Abuse, Time Loop, Time Travel, Trauma, mentally ill MC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:02:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29091732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulabellaxx/pseuds/Lulabellaxx
Summary: When Miah Cho moved to Korea to get in touch with her culture she was so hopeful. Having lived the same eleven days over ten times (and having died frequently) she is apathetic and so angry at hackers and the RFA for ever getting involved with her life.
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. Day 65

Miah sat on her couch with a poorly rolled cigarette pressed between her lips while she scrolled through her old social media account in the dark. 

She used the word ‘old’ loosely, according to the app she’s posted two days ago, a picture of her in a blue sundress with roses printed on it as she explored the city. 

Two days ago to her she’d been curled up in bed with Zen. She’d known it wasn’t going to last, but it was nice for something to be different. She’d felt something for the first time in a while. It wasn’t love exactly...just contentment. 

The reset had come as it always did. They hurt less and less each time as she gradually grew numbed. So there she was, smoking heavily and looking at who she used to be. 

Miah had taken up smoking after realising that time would always reset. She might as well have some pleasurable vices if they would never catch up with her. She’d tried some other more illicit substances as well and they’d blacked her out for a day or two which had been pleasant in a way. At least she hadn’t had to deal with more of the same. 

Miah was dying for a change, for anything different to happen. As she reached the bottom of her feed she stared at herself. Long, wavy, brown hair with side swept bangs, large amber eyes and minimal makeup. She looked so bland and the same as always. It was only a couple of years ago that she’d changed herself to look more ‘normal’... well more how her parents wanted her to. It wasn’t long after that argument when she’d started saving to move to Korea, but she’d taken their words to heart. Every choice she made was still so tightly influenced by whether or not it would disappoint them. 

How long did she have until Unknown text her and all hell broke loose again? Two and a half hours. Miah was glad she was an early riser. Maybe she could try something new for this time around? 

She pulled a stepping stool in front of her bathroom sink and looked at her reflection before hacking off her luscious brown hair with a pair of kitchen scissors. When she finished it was slightly choppy and cheekbone height. Her hair hadn’t been that short since she was 16. Did she bring any of her old clothes? 

***

Miah had indeed saved some of her old clothes, her heavily patched baggy grey jeans with a black fishnet top and leather jacket. Her phone buzzed and she looked down at it. Unknown. 

She placated him with whatever answers he wanted and said she’d be there as soon as possible. She grabbed a duffel bag and shoved some clothes and makeup into it. She’d taken a liking to Rika’s shampoo and shower gel (though she had no liking for the woman herself) so never bothered bringing her own toiletries. 

Miah told Unknown that she’d be there as soon as possible, but decided a teenage style shopping trip wouldn't keep him waiting too long. Maybe he’d like her more if their aesthetics matched. She laughed at the thought of him suddenly changing his tune because they both wore eyeliner. 

***

Miah had purchased a cheap pack of orange hair dye. Dear Lord she was reverting to 16. At least it was more enjoyable than just rejoining the RFA again. Orange hair wasn't the best look when she was a teenager and at 22 it still wasn’t the most attractive. However, Miah was enjoying the change and allowed herself her first genuine smile in weeks.

She tolerated Unknown’s spiel at the door to Rika’s apartment, just wanting to get the introductions over and done with to avoid having to listen to them accuse her of being a hacker and threatening legal action... well really it was to avoid being a stranger. The days were more bearable when they could call her by name and talk to her. Even if it was the same robotic lines that she almost knew by heart it was better being completely cut off from them. 

Miah wished in a way that she had never met them. She wished that they had never become so entangled and god she wished she could hate them. She wished that she could bring herself to hurt them, if only to change the timeline and try and find something that could let them all continue their lives. No matter how much she wanted to Miah couldn't feel any hatred for them, only anger at the world and herself for the situation they were trapped in. 

Miah had often wondered if she was the problem. If by some twisted decision of Fate her coming back to them after every reset was the reason for their continuation. However she hadn’t been able to bring herself to stay away from them after their first meeting. The first time she got to meeting the RFA it’d been Yoosung. 

Sweet, sweet Yoosung with his warm smile and soft words. He was so easy to get along with and seemed to be so kind and loyal. It wasn’t exactly serious but it was nice. And then it wasn’t anything at all because he had no clue who she even was. It was over and it hurt. It wasn’t even like she was in love with him, but she could feel herself falling into a sappy sort of feelings pit. 

After that Miah had become a little more closed off and found a friend in Jaehee who was a constant grounded force in her life who Miah found herself wanting to help the woman. She couldn’t think of anyone more contrasting to herself than Jaehee but still they somehow managed to find common ground and get along. And then just like that she was gone. 

Then it was Jumin. And that one didn’t end too well. Either time. 

After a few more failed attempts at any sort of relationships she moved onto Zen. She was detached and depressed, but he was there and solid and sweet and she felt at last a little bit of hope as though she might finally be on the right path. Then, like everyone else, he too was gone. 

Now there was Seven. As she stepped into Rika’s apartment for what felt like the hundredth time, Miah was well aware of this. It was why she had avoided any advance he made so vehemently, no matter how well they got along. If she got too close and it reset she didn’t know if she’d be able to take it or if it’d just break her into a million pieces. 

Miah loved the other RFA members, but something about Seven had always drawn her in. It was like she was the earth and he was the sun. If she got too close she knew she would get burned but she couldn’t help the pull she felt towards him. She wanted to get to know him, truly and deeply. Pull back every layer of him and see him for himself. 

She sighed and flopped onto Rika’s couch as her phone began to buzz with RFA messages. Maybe this time would be different, but probably not...


	2. Stranger Danger

Miah watched as the messages began to flood in. She was fond of them of course, but the sameness of it all made her heart ache.

**Yoosung:** Failed my midterms fml T-T

**707:** Cuz u played LOLOL all night lol. 

**Jumin:** _If you want to work for our company, you should take care of your GPA._

**Yoosung:** I’m still on the list?! +_+

**Jumin:** Yes. 

**707:** Nice~Can’t believe u get to work straight after college lol

**707: In this day and age!  
**

**Zen:** Lame. It’s nepotism. 

**Jumin:** It’s called recruitment actually.

**Zen:** It’s giving a free pass instead of actually training the worker. 

**Jumin:** Whatever. I couldn’t care less what you say. 

**Zen:** What’s the difference between recruitment and nepotism?

**707:** Thought they r the same? O-O? 

**Jumin:** It’s nepotism if you recruit a person you know and they aren’t of any help. 

**Yoosung:** Oh... So you become a candidate for nepotism the same time you’re recruited! 

**707:** Wait!!

**Yoosung:** Why? 

**Zen:**??

**707: Think someone entered the chat room;;**

Miah always found it comical how caught up in their own lives they were that it took so long for them to even realise she was there. Although, even when she was involved with them romantically or otherwise, she always felt like an accessory. That was hardly the fault of the RFA, though.

It had been that way her whole life. She was her parents perfect daughter, then Oli’s alright younger sister, then her big brother’s lookalike and then the family disappointment. Sometimes, she wondered if her parents pretended she didn’t exist anymore. They had done it when Oli left and they still had Marie. They had probably moved again and nobody even knew she had ever lived at all. 

**Jumin:** Miah...?

**Zen:** Wtf. How did it get in here? 

**707: Hacker!**

**Yoosung:** Hacker!? Therae’s a hacker in ouer room!!!

**Yoosung:** Sevnee do somethign!! 

**Zen:** _Hey, typos -_-;;_

**707:** Wait a sec. I’m searching. 

**Jumin:** _Who are you? Reveal yourself. Hey, Assistant Kang._

**Jaehee:** Yes, I am here. 

**Zen:** You were so quiet I thought you went somewhere. 

**Jaehee:** Nothing was out of the ordinary so I was just watching

**Jaehee:** but I see something has just happened.

**Yoosung:** omg 

**Jumin:** Why is a stranger in our chatroom? 

**Jaehee:** _No one can enter this chatroom without installing the private app we use... It seems someone has downloaded the RFA Messenger._

**Yoosung:** I thought Seven let only us download it?

**Zen:** Maybe someone downloaded the app on two phones? 

**707:** Maybe? 

**Jumin:** Who downloaded it twice? 

**Yoosung:** Not me! 

**Miah:** Heyyy... 

Miah had decided after a while to just start setting her username as her given name. Nobody even called her MC anymore. It had been Oli and his friends who had the sparkly little MC who was never scared and always up for a good time. Where was she when Miah needed her the most. 

**Yoosung: Gahhhh it’s talking!!**

**Zen:** So it’s not two smartphones. 

**Jumin:** _Who is it?_

**Yoosung:** Find out what it is! 

**Jaehee:** How did you find out about this place? Where did you download the application? 

**707: Oh...^^; Wait.**

**Zen:** What is it. Hurry and tell me. 

**707:** I traced the IP...

**707:** It’s from Rika’s apartment. 

**Yoosung: Rika’s apartment?  
**

Rika’s apartment was the most high end prison cell Miah had ever seen. Filled with expensive gadgets and fruit scented toiletries. Miah should have been suspicious the first time around that the shampoo was still in date and everything looked freshly laundered. Unknown must have wanted her to be comfortable. It was almost as though he knew how long she’d be staying there... wishful thinking.

Miah tossed her phone off of the couch and heard it thud against the carpet before continuing to buzz aggressively. She needed a break before seeing more of their conversation... before seeing more of them. 

She stretched out her arms and legs before fumbling in her pockets for a cigarette and a lighter. It calmed her nerves... she didn’t have a problem. It wouldn’t matter if she did. Miah’s nerves certainly needed calming anyway...

Miah lit the cigarette and took a couple of drags before fumbling for her phone and looking at the screen. 

They’d all been introducing themselves. They were so sweet and trusting... well most of them. Seven had just asked her how she got the apartment password.

Well it wasn’t as though she could say that a hacker from a cult had lured her there and she had to go along with it due to being trapped in a time loop that would result in her death if she didn’t meet them. It wasn’t exactly believable. What did she put before? **  
**

**Miah:** I came here while chatting with a person called ‘Unknown’. Do you know him by any chance. 

Miah hated recycling responses unless she had to. If they were all going respond in the exact same way then she was at least going to provide some variation. 

That response in particular made her cringe. It was painfully ‘old’ her. A girl so desperate to rebel against her family and yet so scared to disappoint them any more. Everything she said was so polite and measured, how did she tolerate living like that? 

**Jumin:** Unknown?

**Zen:** Maybe he just didn’t set a username? 

**707:** It’s mandatory to set a username so he must have set it that way. 

**707:** Maybe...

**707: A hacker...?!**

**Yoosung:**!!!

**707:** A hacker! Now way. 

**707:** I have everything covered! 

**707:** Hey, Miah. So he told you the password for the door lock? 

**Miah:** Ya. Idk why. 

Miah knew very well why. It was all to do with his weird ass cult and ‘saviour’. Miah was more and more inclined to believe her to be Rika as the days went by. Especially from the classified documents she’d read. Well the ones she’d managed to read before the security system activated...

Shaking herself from the painful memories, Miah took a final drag of her cigarette before putting it out spitefully in a decorative bowl that Rika had on display. Why did it have to be her who was caught up in these psychotic schemes? 

Miah felt her breath beginning to catch in her throat and her hands beginning to shake. Her body felt so unbearably hot and cold and far too much... 

Maybe her parents were right when they said she needed ‘specialist help.’ Not that they meant it in a helpful or concerned about way. They’d said it to Oli many times before he left and her brother was perhaps the sanest and most grounded person she knew... Miah wondered if she could even say that she knew him anymore, or even Marie for that matter. It had been two years since Miah had seen her younger sister and four since she’d seen her brother. Not even a letter from either of them. Did they even care? Oli could be dead and she wouldn’t even know it? Would her parents bother to call if he was?

Miah screamed into a cushion before lighting another cigarette and focusing on the swirling white smoke before her and the slight burn in the back of her throat. Rika had a cupboard filled with booze if Miah needed to get wasted. 

There we’re too many similarities between them for Miah’s liking. Any at all were bad enough. 

As she began to calm down, Miah noticed the occasional buzzing of her phone and looked back down at it to see that V was due to arrive and Seven had finished her background check.   
  


  
**707:** Lookedintoownerofdevice.

**707:** she’scutelol 

**Yoosung:** You did a background check on her!? So Miah is definitely a girl? 

Miah sighed. How desperate were these boys? Though who was she to fault them. Her relationship experience was a few flings when she was feeling lonely and spiteful to her parents. Why they were so obsessed with her chastity was beyond her. Though even Oli, with his punk band and ‘bad boy’ looks had had to play big brother and keep her from quite a few shady looking dudes and grew exasperated with it all. 

Seven thinking she was cute and always made her heart flutter a little. Miah had to remind herself that she currently looked nothing like the cutesy lapsed and yet ashamed Catholic girl plastered over her socia media. It was still nice to hear regardless. 

Miah just stuck a smiley face in the chat in order to feel like she contributed something. 

Then V arrived and everything seemed to speed up. 

Miah agreed almost immediately to join the RFA, to the confusion of its members. By then, Miah just wanted it to be over. She was contemplating her third cigarette and was rather tired of being treated like an outsider. Well she was... except she wasn’t. 

God for this to end. Please to just be happy. For them all to be happy. If there was anything out there to take pity on her, Miah hoped they heard. 

The chat ended after what felt like an eternity and Miah decided in favour of her third cigarette. As she lit it her phone buzzed. God there couldn’t be another chatroom already. She knew the people didn’t sleep in favour of chatting, but this was a new level. 

It was a message from Seven. 

**707:** Hey Miah, it’s me, Seven. Welcome to the RFA~

His message seemed different than normal, more stilted? Miah wasn’t sure. She decided to try and be amiable regardless. How she wished things could just be normal.   
  


**Miah:** Thanks. Nice to meet u. :)

**707:** I like ur hair btw. It’s different to what’s on ur profile. 

**Miah:** I did it this morning for something new. 

**Miah:** Wait u can see me?! 

**707:** Yup. I’ve got eyes everywhere! I can also see u smoking ur way through that pack. Tut tut. 

**Miah:** I’m a big girl lol ur not my mom. 

**707:** Ur grounded. Backchat. 

**Miah:** We’re the same age T-T

They continued like that for a while and Miah could almost forget that she was trapped in a time loop. She even managed to forget what talking to him so much was doing... forget what painful route she was heading down. 


End file.
